I received some backlash from my family over Wednesday's post about addiction & what it has done to our family. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't half expect the reaction I received from writing those words. Feelings were hurt and for that, I am truly sorry.
Please understand that this is my place - where I can bare my heart and be uplifted and supported by my peers, my friends. What I wrote wasn't just about you - it was about me.
Mom ~ I am proud of you. You are an amazing woman - one of the strongest women I've ever known and I am lucky to have inherited my strength from you. Your struggles in life have not only made you a better person, but they have made me a better person too.
Little Brother ~ I didn't tell our story to hurt you or to make you feel guilty. I did it to share what was on my heart. I did it so that others would not feel as though they were the only ones living through addiction, be it their own or that of loved ones. I did it so that I would not feel alone.
You have hurt me, but you are not the only one.
While it may not seem like it right now, your actions have not made me love you any less. I only wish the very best for you. You have enormous potential and I just hope to see you shine.
I'm trying to learn how to forgive those who have hurt me. I'm trying to also learn how to not hurt those same people in return. I've built up walls. I don't trust. I'm hurting too.
To forgive and to trust takes time. Not one person in this world is perfect - we all make mistakes. It is how we pick up and move on from those mistakes that really matters.
To my readers - my hope is that after reading that post you were able to walk away knowing that addiction is a disease and it can affect anyone. I hope that you walked away knowing that you are not alone and that if you or someone you know and love needs help that it is okay to ask for it.
My intentions were not to put down, shame, or place blame on my family or anyone with an addiction. We all have our own struggles in life.
I was simply sharing my story.
Family, I love you. Imperfections and all.
To those of you who have reached out to me to share your own stories and to offer support and encouragement - and your friendship - thank you. I adore you all. I could not ever ask for a better group of people to call my friends. You have no idea how much each of you mean to me. I am so blessed by each of you.
On that note - go tell someone how much they mean to you today. Spread a little joy.
Have a great weekend!
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I am in shock that you received backlash for your honesty and openness to the heartbreak you are dealing with in your life. I stand behind what I said...it took courage to write that post! Sometimes it takes seeing it out there...bare...to begin to heal. You have a right to be angry, frustrated, irritated with your situation...addiction is devastating to a family...you have a right to write down how you feel on your own blog. I really think it's a shame that others can't see that you are struggling...and that they choose to bash you instead of lifting you up...lifting your family up...praying for you...or if that isn't what they do...offer some kind of friendly advise...or as my Grandmother (and probably most Grandmothers) say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".
ReplyDeleteYou are a remarkable young woman...much smarter than I was at your age, and while there are so many things that I would have done differently when you were a child...the one thing that you can rest assured of, is that I ALWAYS wanted you, and I ALWAYS loved you. I went through hell and high water to keep you, and it was the best decision that I ever made in my life. I am so very proud of the beautiful young lady and remarkable woman that you have become, and I am truly sorry if I don't tell you that often enough. Know that it comes from the bottom of my heart.
ReplyDeleteLife hurts...I know...between the Cancer, and baby brothers behaviour,and the hurt that I have experienced at the hands of the few other people (you know who I am referring to) I honestly don't know how I have made it through, except that I do know that God has carried me every step of the way.
Although life is filled with all sorts of hurt, we have to consider that we are very fortunate. Things have been traumatic over the last couple of years - but each day - there seems to be a new little glimmer of light and hope, and I know, in my heart - that all we have to do is pray - together. The family that prays together stays together.
I appreciate you taking the time to post this, I know that it made me feel better, and I know that it will make your brother feel better as well. Although he has made many bad choices, I know that deep in his heart he has the true desire to make you proud of him. I know that it will take time to forgive him for the hurt he has caused, and I know that it will take time to trust him....just understand that he loves you and those children with all of his heart, and the only thing that I can ask of you is to pray with me, every day, that the initiative that he has shown over the last week will continue and that these are the first stepping stones in a positive direction for him. Without our prayers, he doesn't have a chance, and I refuse to allow Satan to have EITHER of my children.
Mama loves you =)
Hello Love!
ReplyDeleteSo I LOVE music! I mean....overly obsessed with it is more correct. I've considered doing a blog link up where people talk about their FAV song each week {adult ADHD moment, sorry}.
Anyway!
Music speaks to me. Music of ALL varieties. I listen to literally EVERY genre of music!
When I read this post, I just wanted to hug ya! It's SO HARD for us to be honest sometimes cause it is going to offend SOMEONE in our life. And when I read this post, a Contemporary Christian song popped into my head. I want you to read these lyrics & REALLY let them sink in. Then I want you to go listen to the song. And I would LOVE to know what you think! It's by Matthew West & it's called Forgiveness....it has a great message. Here's the lyrics:
It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
I LOVE YOU!!!! {{hugs}}}