Catch 22

Pouring My Heart Out Today.

I started this blog for many reasons; when I first began blogging I was a coupon blogger but I burnt out on that pretty quickly. I knew that I had more to say and share with people than just the latest deals (no offense to coupon bloggers - I give y'all HUGE props for what yo do - it's hard!). I began writing in this space to share my life, my heart, and my family. Any blogger knows that when you start a new project all you really want is for people to read what you write, to love what you write, and hell we really love it when you share what we write. Am I right y'all?

It took some time but as I continued to publish more content and engage with my audience my readership grew, and it has continued to grow. My  numbers are small compared to many standards but I have Google Analytics - I know y'all are there! I'm thankful for my loyal readers. However - it seems that I've found myself in a bit of a catch 22 here lately. 

I longed for readers in the beginning, but now there are people reading my blog that I wish would stop reading! There are people who have taken it upon themselves to lurk in the shadows of the internet to read up on me and my life. Is it curiosity? Is it jealousy? Are you just plain nosy? My God, stop torturing yourself with every tiny detail of what is going on over here because it's really none of your business.

Except for when you do.

Knowing that certain people read this space kept me from writing for awhile; I felt sorry for some of you because you were subjected to reading things that you probably didn't want to see. I felt like I had to hide my happy so that I wouldn't offend or hurt feelings. Why I felt the need to protect you is absolutely beyond me. I didn't want to share my life with you; I didn't want you to know me. I didn't want you to know my story.

I made the decision a long time ago to share my life in a public way by writing this blog. I made that decision and I have to deal with the fact that what I write here is open to anyone who chooses to read it. I can't stop you from coming here and obsessing over what I write. That's fine! If you want to torture yourself with the details of my life go right on ahead. I appreciate the boost in page views. While I don't love knowing that you've been here creeping (and I do know) it doesn't bother me so much anymore. I just smile and shake my head and go on about my day. 

So for those of you reading from the dark corners of the internet (you know who you are): I hope you enjoy your time here, and I figure you must since you keep coming back.